


Speak Now

by dawseynaley



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 22:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8772280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dawseynaley/pseuds/dawseynaley
Summary: Two shot/AU. She was currently living in Savannah, he in Chicago. They met in New York when on vacation and after one year trying to make a long-distance relationship work, all became too much. But the unexpected happened. She moved back to Chicago and turned his life upside down.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! First of all, happy Chicago Fire 100 day!!! 
> 
> About the story: I was listening to Speak Now by Taylor Swift for the first time in years and thought it could turn into a good story (I'm not so sure about the good part btw). It's a two-parts story, but at the end the only different thing is the POV. The first chapter is Gabby's and the second Matt's. So that's it. I hope you guys like it. Huge thank you to Nath and Jess for always helping me!
> 
> Please remember that English it's not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes.
> 
> \- M

I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know _why_ I’m doing it.

 

Why I even bother getting ready to go to his wedding is something I’ll never know how to explain. I know I was only invited because everyone from the firehouse was invited, not because I’m wanted there. I mean, everyone got their invitations in person but mine _mysteriously_  got lost and was mailed. But I don't blame them. I don't blame _her_. I tried my damn best to keep myself away from him but not always succeeded.

 

This past year was pretty crazy. When I moved back to Chicago, I never thought I'd see him again. I knew there was a chance... we'd be living in the same city, but even so I really wasn't expecting it to happen. Not after almost two years without hearing from him. Yes, we ended up things good – at least that's what I like to tell myself. We worked hard to keep up with the distance; always talking to each other, sometimes he'd go to Savannah and sometimes I'd come to Chicago. But deep down we both knew this long-distance wasn't working and it wasn't fair to either of us. At first we tried to keep in touch as friends but life happened and well, not even that worked. Sometimes I think it was for the best, you know, easier to both of us. He was too good for me – I can hear him huffing right next to me by just thinking that. He hated when I said this to him, although is the absolute true. He's the nice guy without the asshole part. He's every mother's dream. So, long story short, I was shocked when I saw him standing right in front of me looking more handsome than ever in my first day at 51. From that moment I knew I was screwed.

 

After my first shift, Matt took me out for dinner. At the moment I saw no problem. I had no idea he was dating someone, let alone was engaged. But now just the thought of that day makes me want to punch him. That night Matt was perfect than ever. We talked about everything and while those two years away gave us plenty to talk, it was like no time had passed at all. He told me about the passing of his best friend and how he helped take care of his kids. I told him about the passing of my father and how much that affected me. That's the reason I moved back to Chicago, after all. And then he caught me by surprise when he kissed me. It was soft, gentle, slow, almost making up for the lost time. I thought the night was perfect... until he decided to share with me that he was engaged. I flipped out. I tried to run away from him but he's stronger than I am. We finished our food in the most uncomfortable sad silence. I insisted on going back home by taxi but he didn't let me. The way back home was even more painful. I was hurt, offended. 

 

_"Why did you kissed me if you're engaged?" I ask when he kills the engine. My voice is barely a whisper now. He can't even look me at the eyes._

 

_"Because..." He sighs. He's taking so much time to answer a simple question it's suffocating. "I really missed you, Gabs."_

 

_"I can't..." Yep, I'm freaking out right now. He's engaged, he kissed me and now he says that the missed me? What is wrong with him? "Goodnight, Matt." I whisper before stepping out of his car as fast as I could._

 

I wish I could say that was the only time we kissed but that would be a lie. Not only we kissed but we made love more times than I would like to admit. Each time better than the last, but each time more wrong than the last. I'm not a cheater. This goes against everything I believe. I wasn't raised by my parents to become someone like this. And I always tried to avoid this to happen. It wasn't fair to any of us. Hallie was a really nice person and she didn't deserve to be betrayed like that. But what I have with Matt, our connection... it just makes everything harder.

 

The day we met still is one of the craziest days of my life. Let me tell you something, it's like this man came straight out the cheesiest rom-com you can imagine. He proved me that since day 1. I felt like I was in a movie. Still feels unreal to me.

 

_This trip to New York City was the best thing I ever did to myself. I think I should start convincing people to travel alone more. You can make your own schedules, you follow them if you want to. You can take a break whenever you feel up to, you can pick the stores and the restaurants. It's the best damn thing. Right now I'm sitting in a bench at the Central Park watching the snow fall with a warm cup of coffee in my hands. Growing up in Chicago taught me something important: if you ever want to stay out in the snow you must layer up your clothes. But don't put too many clothes on or you'll end up an even colder sweaty mess._

 

_"May I sit with you?" A deep male voice brings me back to reality. I look up and standing right next to me was probably the most handsome dude I've ever seen._

 

_"Uh... yeah. Sure." I said and slipped a little to the side. Then we fell into a really awkward silence. Just two strangers sharing a bench at Central Park watching people move._

 

_"I'm Matt, by the way." He offers his hand to shake and I do. Geez, that's one strong grip._

 

_"Gabby." I point to myself. "Nice to meet you, Matt." Then he smiles and I'm feeling completely whipped. What is happening? All of sudden there's this ridiculously handsome dude approaching me and now I feel like I'm a teenager._

 

_"Hope I didn't scare you." This small talk is killing me. What's up with him? Is he gonna try to kill me? I literally just said traveling alone was a good idea. Please hold on to that. If this turns into a disaster, don't let my tragedy keep you from enjoying a little trip by yourself. The sound that comes out from my mouth must be awful because all he did was chuckle._

 

_"Well, I'm not used to people asking to sit next to me when there are a bunch of empty benches available." The sound of this chuckle makes my face blush. I'm pretty sure right now I look like a big bright tomato._

 

_"You know what they say, right? Human heat is the best way to keep ourselves warm." Wow, okay. Am I officially out of my mind or he's hitting on me? I discreetly look around to check if there's no camera waiting for me to make or say something embarrassing._

 

_"Oh really, they say?" We both laugh. I could easily get used to the sound of his laugh, "So. Matt, the human heat guy. Tell me a little about yourself."_

 

_"Hm, I'm 27 years old. Born and raised in Chicago. I'm firefighter, currently working my ass of to become a lieutenant." He looks at me and for the first time I took a close look of his blue eyes. Oh my. "You?"_

 

_"If I tell you I'm also from Chicago and I'm a PIC, would you believe in it?" Here we are once again laughing. "Well, I'm living in Savannah now, but I was born in Chicago and my parents still live there."_

 

_"Yeah, from the moment I saw you sitting here all along in the middle of the snow I knew you couldn't be from Florida or California."_

 

_"Since I was a little girl I'm obsessed with snow, my mom would always have to drag me inside our house before I completely froze outside." The way he's looking at me right now gives me butterflies. I don't think I've ever felt like this before. I barely know this guy and I'm really feeling like this?_

 

_"Gabby, the snow freak, you up to drink some coffee?" I let a small laugh slip from my lips. Seriously, is this guy for real?_

 

_"Now? What do you have in mind?"_

 

_"I walked pass Birch Coffee and thought I could make a stop before going back to the hotel. So, what do you say?" He's now looking at me slightly anxious, which is making me anxious._

 

_"Yeah, sure. I'm done with this one anyway."_

  

"You've got to be kidding me." I mutter. My music shuffle has the worst timing. Cry by Kelly Clarkson? Right now? Really? I let out a dry laugh. I take one last look at myself. I'm wearing a mid tight red dress with my hair down. It wasn't until I look at myself that I realize red is his favorite color. Does that mean I'm going to chance now? Nope. I'm so lost in my thoughts I don't even notice Shay walking in my room. 

 

"Hey girlie, you ready?" I look at her and smile. She looks gorgeous in a black dress.

 

"Yeah, I just need my shoes." I should know better when I answered her with this low tone. Sometimes I think Shay knows me better than myself.

 

"Gabby, are you sure about this? You know, if you want to we can stay home watching horror movies while eating ice cream. I won't judge, I know this must be... hard." She makes a small pause. "We can even stay in our dresses. Damn, girl, we look _hot_!"

 

"God, you're impossible." I let out a small laugh. "Thanks, Shay, but I'm fine. And we do look hot, so it'd be a waste look this good and stay home. Also, we should probably go or we're gonna be late."

 

Shay is the only person who knows about us, about our whole story. I met her while Matt and I were still dating and she's amazing. I don't think I've ever had a friend like her. When I told her about this mess with Matt she was both supportive and pissed at me, and that was exactly what I needed. She cheers with me when I'm happy and cries with me when I'm sad. I don't know where I'd be without her. And today she's exactly what I need. The way to the church is filled with laugh and music. When Wannabe by Spice Girls starts playing we both sing along so loud I'm pretty sure anyone outside the car could hear us. Shay's trying to distract me from everything that's about to happen and I love her so much for it. 

 

When we arrive at the church I'm in awe. Everything looks beautiful and I couldn't help but feel my heart tightening a little. This could be me, you know. This could be my wedding, my decoration, my guests, _my husband_. But it wasn't and little voice keep playing in my mind,  _don't overthink this, Gabby._ _Just... try to enjoy the day. This is just an ordinary day. No biggie. You can do it._ But this little voice couldn't be more wrong. There's no way I could enjoy this day. I couldn't do it. I'm gonna only... survive. Try to make through this ceremony alive. Well... wish me luck.

 

Everyone from 51 was sitting together, except Severide since he's Matt's best man. We're all having such a good time talking and laughing that for a moment I forget why we're here in this church. But suddenly there's silence and there he was, walking down the aisle with his mom. When I look at his, I feel breathless. I don't think I've ever seen him look so handsome. The dark blue of his suit against his pale skin... This is harder than I ever thought. All I want to do right now is run up to him and kiss him. Geez, now more than ever I'm thankful for everyone not sitting in the front. When he gets to the altar, his mom move to sit next to his sister and niece, leaving him alone there. He's smiling at someone sitting in the front until our eyes meet. Once again I feel difficulty to breath. I notice his jaw clenching and him swallowing hard. I can't quiet read the look in his eyes. I haven't seen him in almost a week and we didn't end this so well. I take a deep breath and look down before tears start falling. 

 

The moment Hallie started walking down the aisle was the worst. I'm pretty sure even Shay notice how my posture changed as she hold my hand and squeeze softly. She looked beautiful and it breaks my heart. I think about every single time we were together behind her back. Of course we both knew what we were doing, but seeing her dressed like this in front of me is the confirmation that we're done for good.

 

My mind must be somewhere else because now the minister is starting the ceremony and my heart is beating strong in my throat. Remember when I said Hallie walking down the aisle was the worst part? I was wrong. This is way worst. It's suffocating. All is becoming too much for me. I knew I shouldn't have come. When Hallie started saying her vows I was sure I had to leave this place before I let out this loud scream that's stuck in my throat. 

 

"Shay, I was wrong, I need to go, I can't stay here." I whisper before standing up and making my way to the door. I'm trying my best to keep my shoes from echoing too loud in this damn church. I guess that wasn't really working since some people were staring at me. As soon as I walk through the door I rush to the other side of the street, as far as I can from the church and let out that scream that's itching my throat. I put my hand in my mouth as a desperate way to muff the sharp noise. The tears I was holding were now streaming down my face. I can't pretend all this mess doesn’t affect me anymore. I know there's no way I'm going back to that place, so I start walking to the street corner trying to find a taxi to take me as far as I can from _him._  

 

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" This voice behind me... it can't be. I must be dreaming. I hesitate at first, but then turn around slowly and there he was standing right in front of me in all his glory. He's breathing hard as if he has been running. 

 

"Matt, what are you doing here?" My voice's so low I'm not sure he could hear me. He takes a step closer but I'm too shocked to move.

 

"I just... couldn't do that, Gabby." His voice holds so many emotions. It was like he's in a lot of _pain_. " _You_ are the love of my life, not her." 

 

We both just stand there staring at each other for god knows how long, taking in everything that was just happening. Then he makes the first move and his lips touches mine, as if he's asking for permission. 

 

The way our lips are touching, the way he's holding me so close. This kiss is different than any other we've ever shared. It's bittersweet, gentle and _oh so_ happy. Free of guilt for the first time in years. Full of promise and love. Not even back when we were dating we've kissed like this, so intense. I can feel my eyes watering. It's like he's trying to tell me something that words can't describe. When air becomes an issue, we pull away slowly and as soon as I open my eyes one tear stream down my face. With a shy smile on his face, he brings his warm hand to my cheek and wipe the tear  with his thumb.

 

As if sensing my worries, he says quietly, "Whatever is going on in your head, stop. You're the one, Gabs. I want _you_. It's our time now. I love you." 

 

I give him a small smile and whisper the words back as I close the distance between us. Unlike the other kiss, this one is full of _want_. We're so involved in ourselves we're vaguely aware of the noises coming from the church. I'm sure everyone is already out watching us, some shocked and some pissed. But at this moment I couldn't care less. I'm finally back in his arms and don't need to worry about hiding or betraying someone. Matt is right, _it's our time now._

**Author's Note:**

> Please take some time to review! I'm already writing Matt's POV so hopefully I'll post it soon :)


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